Flying Spaghetti Monster vs. Lanky Kong
Flying Spaghetti Monster of Real World Mythology (Dio the Ludicolo) takes on Lanky Kong of Donkey Kong (TodoketeApproved) in Round One of the Halloween Frieght Tournament. Voting Voting has ended Fight Flying Spaghetti Monster, carrying Lanky Kong, crash lands in a dirt field filled with lots of trenches. The two get up and brush themselves off. Spaghetti Monster: Oh my! I am SO sorry! His voice trails off when he gets a good look at just who Lanky Kong is. Spaghetti Monster: You’re... you’re a Monkey! Lanky Kong then takes out a banana and starts to eat it. Lanky: You ain’t so good looking yourself, there spaghetti Spaghetti Monster: What? Lanky: Listen, I’ve been trying to gather a group to take down this game’s kingpin. You know you want to get out of here. And I’ve dealt far worse things than you could ever hope to be. He turns to leave back towards Kled, but Spaghetti Monster shoots the banana out of his mouth. Lanky: You’re gonna wish you hadn’t done that. (Lankans Barrel, 0:39-0:49) Spaghetti Monster: As a God of the Universe, I cannot allow you to leave. Lanky puts his hand on the ground. Lanky: Suit yourself, Spaghetti God. HERE WE GO!!!!! (Lankans Barrel, 0:49-1:49) Lanky punches, and Spaghetti Monster shoots a projectile. His projectile goes through Lanky’s fist, and Lanky is forced to deflect the shots with Bananas. Flying Spaghetti Monster fires five more shots, but only two successfully aim at Lanky Kong, and he blocks them easy. Spaghetti Monster: I’m not the best shot there is, unfortunately. Lanky: Well, I AM! Lanky Kong shoots a Peanut bullet at the Flying Spaghetti Monster, but the god catches it in his tentacles and shatters it before Lanky’s eyes. As he looks on shocked, the Spaghetti Monster blitzes him and punches him hard in the face. He keeps the melee assault up with a few more punches before Lanky reacts and shreds Spaghetti Monster with a vine. Before his attack is finished, Spaghetti Monster grabs Lanky Kong by the head and hits him in the face. Lanky Kong stumbles back to see Flying Spaghetti Monster’s flesh growing back via his healing factor. Spaghetti Monster: I’ll take this! Reaching behind Lanky Kong he takes the a staff, and the two begin a melee duel that ends when Lanky Kong kicks the monster’s face. In the air, he shoots three peanuts at once into Flying Spaghetti Monster’s chest and lands as he gets up. With a powerful set of two punches, he sends Spaghetti Monster shooting sideways, catches up to him with his fist, rips into him with several fast punches before they hit the ground. Backing away, Lanky Kong brings out the fireworks and launches an explosive blast at Spaghetti Monster knocking him into the air. Lanky Kong flies up, grabs Flying Spaghetti Monster, and piledrives him to the ground. As he stands over his downed opponent, Spaghetti Monster reaches up and grabs Lanky Kong by the neck before repeatedly punching him with his meatballs. He then drops Lanky Kong and does a backwards roll away, leaving a meatball grenade at the monkey’s feet. Lanky Kong barely dodges in time. Lanky: Nice try! The grenade flies back at the monster, who merely catches it and it explodes in his tentacles. Lanky Kong takes out his cannon again and fires, but the Flying Spaghetti Monster leaps through the flames unfazed and double-fist punches Lanky’s head, burying him in the ground. Taking a horseshoe out of his body, the Spaghetti Monster rings it around Lanky Kong’s neck before punting him into the sky. Lanky Kong glides around the arena while the Flying Spaghetti Monster tries to attack from range, missing every shot with his meatballs. Resorting to a more direct approach, the monster lifts a large chunk of the earth out of the ground and throws it at Lanky Kong. With the banana pistol, Lanky Kong cleaves it in half but falls right into Flying Spaghetti Monster’s clutches. The god sucker punches him hard with his right tentacle, making Lanky Kong spit out blood, and grabs him by the arms before ragdolling him around and throwing him out. With two shots from his tentacles, the monster cripples both of Lanky’s feet. Lanky Kong: Time For VICTORY! In a flash of light, Lanky Kong becomes dressed in jet pack and has two hand controlled cannons surrounding him. He fires a massive amounts of peanuts and bananas at the monster, who crosses his tentacles in preparation for the blast, and a massive crater is left in the ground. To Lanky Kong’s horror, Spaghetti Monster is still standing, only mildly burnt. Spaghetti Monster: I don’t die easily, Monkey. The Flying Spaghetti Monster swings around his tentacles, while Lanky takes out his arm. The two run at each other and leap into the air; Flying Spaghetti Monster with a massive jump, and Lanky Kong with the trenches elevation. They fly towards each other. The two punch each other out of the sky and fall to the Earth blow, in a large cloud of dust. Lanky Kong reaches for his banana, and the Flying Spaghetti Monster for his loose tentacles. It is Lanky Kong who fires first, and he shoots a banana straight through the Flying Spaghetti Monster’s head. K.O!!! Spaghetti Monster: No... damn... how... He collapses to the ground, and he starts to turn to dust. Lanky Kong looks back. Lanky Kong: This place is so weird, I'm thankful for this victory... please, HELP ME FIND A WAY OUT OF THIS PLACE!!! He runs off. Results Winning Combatant: Flying Spaghetti Monster: 0 Lanky Kong: 22 Winning Method: K.O.: 5 Death: 17 Details More information can be found here Category:What-If? DBXs Category:John1Thousand Category:Halloween Frieght Tournament Category:Completed What-If DBXs